Cesca Has No Idea - How Santa avoided running over several children in his golf cart

Last night I went with the family to the local carols night at the golf club and it was people watching bliss and pandemonium, it was like watching one of those ant farms that has been cut down the middle so that you can see the inside. Hundreds and hundreds of kids of all ages running around like they had found out it was the end of the world and at the same moment they had been injected with a lethal mixture of lollies, chocolate and red cordial.

There was a free petting zoo and face painting, so these kids who had forgotten they look like batman were holding baby chickens while lamas with bows and Christmas hats on tried to chew on their hair.

Also the sand pit things at the golf course were the hit of the night, kids were going wild in them, running up and down the sides like it was a skate bored ramp, filling their shoes with sand, making sand angels (welcome to Christmas in Australia) and putting sand on the faces of their mothers who would look at them in a serious way like “if you weren’t so damn cute you know I would have drowned you in the bath a long time ago.”

 

Oh and then the best part! They finally got to the stage of the night where the “Special Guest” was about to arrive (I love it when the announce it like that because the older kids who are like 9 years old tell everyone that they know it is Santa because they are older now and can no longer be fooled). From the far back of the golf course Santa is being driven in on a golf buggy and then the first kids see him and start running, and then the other kids see those kids running and it catches their eye and they bolt too and within a minuet hundreds of kids are running like a tsunami is lapping at their heals towards this poor guy. I have no idea how he didn’t even run over one kid that night. 

As we were about to leave the host announced: “And I would like to say thank you to all those parents who helped us out when Santa arrived making it so much safer than last year.” I have no idea what happened the previous year but man do I wish I had been there!